Go big, go home or go to jail

In an era when retail cashiers look warily at a $100 bill, hard to imagine what a man was thinking when he tried to pass a $1 million bill at a Walmart in North Carolina.

Lost in the crush of holiday news about retail sales was the story of 53-year-old Michael Fuller who police reports cited by the Winston-Salem Journal said tried to use a bogus $1 million bill at Walmart to purchase $476 worth of goods including a vacuum cleaner and microwave oven. His insistence the bill was real resulted in police being called to the scene, and Fuller was charged with attempting to obtain property by false pretense and uttering a forged instrument, according to the paper. He was held in jail on a $17,500 bond, and let’s hope local police involved substance abuse or mental health officials.

A person would have to be high, crazy or both to think a Walmart cashier would have change for a $1 million billion in their drawer even if the attempt to convince them it was real was successful. Fuller’s chances might have been better if he’d gone with a $500 or $1,000 bill. At least those denominations are still acceptable as legal tender, although using either to pay for goods at Wamart would have been as stupid as attempting to pass a fake $1 million bill since the collectible value of out-of-circulation large denomination bills makes them worth far more than their face value.